Bobcats Should Bring on Bebe

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Lucas Nogueira illustration by Mike s.

World, Get Ready for Lucas “Bebe” Nogueira

There are way too many questions about the crop of players in this year’s NBA Draft. All of these lottery guys are so young, and rather unspectacular, that it’s a mystery who the Cleveland Cavaliers will take with the First Pick. Every single team will try to maximize what they can get out of their respective selections, but the experts claim that there are no future All-Stars available this year. Some clubs are actively looking to make trades, while others are praying that they’ll find the next savior of their franchise. Bobcats fans certainly know what it’s like to watch their team go digging for treasure in June. Now, once again, MJ and his pals are trying to uncover a prospect that’ll finally resurrect the passion of Charlotte’s basketball fans and remind them of that winning feeling.

So, who are the Charlotte Bobcats going to select? Really, how does any club make a determination between the value of Alex Len, Nerlens Noel, Anthony Bennett, or Victor Oladipo this year? None of the top prospects really seem to separate themselves from the pack. So, let’s cut through all of the smokescreens used by the lamestream sports media and get down to the real gem in the 2013 NBA Draft. You won’t hear the bros on ESPN, or sports-barking radio talk about this guy, but you better brace yourself because this is The Lucas Nogueira Draft!

There’s only one sure thing coming out of the 2013 NBA Draft – and that’s Nogueira! Most Americans don’t yet know of him, but the Brazilian baller has been exploding in the Spanish league and measures in at 7′ with a 7’6″ wingspan. Actually, we’ll all become familiar with him for his domination of the game of basketball and his marketable, soon to be a household nickname, Bebe.

Let’s be honest, there will be a ton of teams over-thinking this year’s Draft and passing on Bebe. But, I guarantee that they’ll regret it. Just as we all knew Bismack Biyombo (#biznation) would be the most amazing player of the 2011 Draft, this year we’ll all get an introduction to the phenomenon that is Lucas Nogueira.

Although it’s not yet known if Bebe can dribble a basketball, his highlights certainly showcase his invaluable abilities – throwing it down and blocking shots. I know some folks say that’s what Nerlens Noel does, but let’s face the facts – Bebe weighs at least 10 more pounds and has two healthy ACLs. But, it’s ridiculous to even put Nerlens and Lucas in the same conversation. Noel might find a jersey on a pro team somewhere, but Thursday’s big ceremony has only one real purpose – the first chapter of Bebe’s Hall of Fame career.

Just like Tim Duncan caught Lebron James after the Finals in 2007 and told him that the league would one day be his to rule, James must pass the torch to Nogueira. Surely, in just a few years, Lebron will no longer be able to deny that he has become obsolete after witnessing Bebe seize back-to-back Championships over the battered bodies of his super-friends. Resistance to Lucas is futile.

If Charlotte’s GM Rich Cho is bright enough to claim Bebe on Thursday, we’ll see the makings of the NBA’s next super team. It’s going to be impossible for Kevin Durant to pass up the chance to join Bebe and Biz down in “Buzz City”. Certainly, this is the kind of guy that Cho stays up all night insisting they’ll discover if they just work hard enough.  Over time, the selection of Nogueira will make everyone forget about all of the mistakes of Charlotte’s past drafts.

To all the GMs out their reading Bobcats Baseline (yep, all of them) – Pass on Bebe at your own risk. He’ll carry that grudge onto the court throughout the next decade of domination and throw it your face during his Hall of Fame speech. You’ve been warned.

-Mike 


POLL : What to Do with the 4th Draft Pick?

  • Alex Len (29%, 33 Votes)
  • Anthony Bennett (37%, 42 Votes)
  • Cody Zeller (11%, 13 Votes)
  • Trey Burke (1%, 1 Votes)
  • Trade the Pick (22%, 26 Votes)

Total Voters: 115

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SMILIN’ PAUL SILAS: A Photoessay

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(Photo credit: David T. Foster)

It’s no secret that Paul Silas was a happy guy when the Bobcats announced him as the interim head coach of the team. Way back in 2007, there was a head coaching opening after Bernie Bickerstaff was fired. And wouldn’t you know it, the team interviewed Paul Silas back then too! He was quoted as calling the gig a “dream job.” Over the years since then, the Lake Norman area resident has been asked if he’d ever consider coming back to coach a team. On coaching the Bobcats, Silas said, “That’s the one (NBA) job I would be interested in. If I had to go somewhere else, no, but I’d like to coach again here.”

So it should come to no one’s surprise that the man is happy overjoyed ecstatic to be coaching the only team he’d want to in the city he holds dear.

In fact, Paul Silas smiles so much, from now on I’m going to call him “Paul Smilas.”

Press Conference

I don't think the owner is too pleased about that jacket, Paul. (Photo credit: John D. Simmons)

"Waive Kwame? What are you talking about? I'M GOING TO TURN HIM INTO A DOUBLE-DOUBLE MACHINE." (Photo credit: John D. Simmons)

First Practice

"Son, you do the worst robot I've ever seen! MATT! Get over here and teach him how it's done!" (Photo credit: John D. Simmons)

"There's going to be a game where it snows, and so few fans show that they have to rope off the upper deck? That'll bring back fond memories!" (Photo credit: John D. Simmons)

Silas Era – Game One (Pistons)

"If I smile really hard, will you take it easy on Jack tonight? Pleeeeeaaasssee?"(Photo credit: David T. Foster)

"Psst...Dude, do ya think Bill Diehl* has ever washed his hair?" (Photo credit: David T. Foster III)

*Bill Diehl is a prominent attorney in Charlotte who has courtside tickets to the Bobcats. In the past, he defended Rae Carruth and former Hornets owner, George Shinn, in their respective cases. In Shinn’s sexual harassment trial, he channeled his inner Johnnie Cochran saying, “If she wasn’t bitin’, she wasn’t fightin’. ” His hair is usually much greasier and thinner than in this photo.

"Fresh cut, coach! You got a haircut in the middle of the game against the Pistons? Smart use of time!" (Photo credit: David T. Foster III)

"This is SO MUCH better than being a candidate for 'Sad Bench Photo' on Basketbawful." (Photo credit: David T. Foster III)

Silas Era – Game Two (Cavaliers)

"D.J., have you ever been in a Turkish prison?" (Photo credit: Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)

"How can anyone not smile when they play the Cavs?" (Photo credit: Jeff Siner)

"Jazzercise for halftime? YES!" (Photo Credit: Jeff Siner)

Paul Silas Era – Game 6 (Wizards)

**Through gritted teeth** "Yes Tyrus, that off-balance baseline fadeaway jump shot while you were being doubled was good shot selection." (Photo credit: Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)

Paul Silas Era – Game 14 (Hawks)

"You may have won the battle, but we won the war - of smiling." (Photo credit: Kent Smith/NBAE/Getty Images)

Paul Silas Era – Game 15 (Kings)

ONE SMILE TO RULE THEM ALL (Photo credit: Rocky Widner/NBAE via Getty Images)

And one last one, just for kicks and giggles…

Words - I have none. (Photo credit: Bob Leverone)

- Cardboard Gerald

You can follow Cardboard Gerald, Dr. E, and ASChin on Twitter at @CardboardGerald@BaselineDrE, and @BobcatsBaseline. You can find more of Cardboard Gerald’s writing at Bobcats Break and now at Stacheketball.

Party City Donates Lady Cats’ Costumes

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It appears that Party City donated all of their leftover “sexy costumes” to the Lady Cats. The  photos popped up on Bobcats.com and Facebook last night.  I believe the donation occurred on November 1 and Brandii McCoy promptly organized a photoshoot.

The outfits are an exceptional sampling of the most predictable women’s costumes of the past decade. Here is a countdown:

5. The Sexy Vampire

Brittany is really “owning” this shot by extending her arm so far that it shows her double-jointedness. Also, the use of a “Bump-it” under the bangs is a nice touch.

4. Sexy ‘Risky Business’ Outfit

Is this really a costume?? It was my understanding that women dress like this around their homes throughout the year.

3. Sexy Playboy Bunny

Kudos to Amber for taking this shot from behind. It wasn’t clear how sexy this costume was but once you see the sexy bunny tail, there is no question.

2. Sexy Cop

I’m kinda confused by the use of pink in the cop outfit and the tan is technically the color of a Highway Patrol uniform. Nevertheless, Ashley is employing the use of a “visual metaphor” by holding a nightstick.

1. Sexy French Maid

Tia and Dawn both went for the #1 sexy costume of the past decade: the super-innovative sexy French Maid outfit.

This duplicative costume leads me to beleive that each LadyCat was responsible for her own costume. Why didn’t Tia and Dawn correspond via text messaging?

Which one of these awesome costumes is your fave?

I personally think that the Lady Cats should’ve all dressed as the Charlotte Sting like this bro…

The Bobcats Superhero Treatment

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Marvel and ESPN The Mag Create NBA Superheroes

If you didn’t know by now, ESPN The Magazine teamed up with a sister company (under the ABC/Disney mega-corp) to create some very cool and geeky comic book style superhero illustrations for the publication’s NBA Season Preview. There are some pretty interesting takes on the concept of blending fantastical heroes of the Marvel universe with the on-court superstars of the NBA.

Of course, our first impulse was to check out the Bobcats “cover” treatment. It’s interesting to see Air Jordan as the centerpiece, imagined as second-tier Marvel hero Nick Fury (played by Samuel L. Jackson in the Iron Man movies). While I’d like to see Gerald or Jack sketched into some turbo-intense action, it’s probably safe to say that Jordan is the most recognizable and influential figure of the organization.

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You can take a look at a preview of all the team covers here. I think the Bulls, Thunder, Rockets and Nets are pretty sweet ideas. The Cavs concept is just too true.

If you’re bored of staring at your computer, you can grab the newest issue of ESPN The Magazine, featuring this NBA Geekfest on your newstands this weekend.

NBA Jam for Nintendo Wii; Bobcats Images

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I honestly never thought I’d see the day. I have had SO many dreams…vivid, colorful dreams with the words BOOMSHAKALA and KABOOM being shouted by a fantastically predictable announcer.

Today is the day my dreams come true. Tyrus Thomas, Gerald Wallace and Stephen Jackson all appear on the newest installment of NBA Jam. The Midway arcade hit was purchased by EA Sports and released on the Nintendo Wii console today.

This game is insane. I had forgotten how addictive it is…the dunks; the shoves; the elbow throwin’. Incredible.

I was excited to see that a few Bobcats “signature visuals” made it into the game including the infamous Gerald Wallace mouthpiece that inspired our SarcophaCrash t-shirt.

Gerald’s Mouthpiece

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Larry Brown’s trademark “crossed arm stance”

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Rufus looks weak but, let’s face it, Rufus is pretty weak in real life.

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Needlesstosay, Bobcats Baseline highly recommends the new NBA Jam. We won’t even mention all the throwback players (Dennis Rodman) you can unlock.

In other NBA video game news, the Bobcats received a mention in the IGN review of NBA 2k11

I know we toss around the phrase, “It looks like a real game” too often, but this time I mean it — dynamic crowds that slowly fill in during the first quarter or don’t even show for a Bobcats’ game and you have the most accurate portrait of the NBA to date.

The entire gamer community is flipping out over NBA 2K11 because it recieved a 9.5 by IGN…the game is being dramatically touted as “The Best Sports Video Game of the Millenia” and features a generous helping of Michael Jordan game modes…

The highlight of NBA 2K11 are the Jordan Challenges…Can you average 11 assists in the ’91 series against the Lakers? Or drop six treys and score at least 35 points in the first half against Drexler and the Trail Blazers to earn the famous Jordan shrug? Or light up the Knicks for 55 points in Jordan’s return from retirement?

2K Sports created each of these 10 memorable moments with a surprising level of detail. The commentary for every game is custom-fitted with discussions on Jordan’s potential in “The Arrival” game and talk of how much John Starks has frustrated Jordan in the “Double Nickel” game in Madison Square Garden.

With both NBA Jam and NBA 2k11 focusing so heavily on nostalgia, I wonder; are we entering a NBA Renaissance? Is the NBA on the up-swing to achieve the level of popularity it enjoyed during the 1990’s? Does Michael Jordan gracing the cover of NBA 2K11 mark the beginning of an NBA resurgence in pop culture?

Does it make you sad that the Bobcats are not a “vintage team” from the ’90s like the Hornets? If the Bobcats had a throwback player on their NBA Jam squad, who would it be?